The Rookie Wall

I've hit the rookie wall.

Yep, I've been working as a copywriter for an ad agency for a mere 3 days and I don't think I've got it figured out. I'm a rookie, and I've hit the rookie wall.

My first day, I got mixed up on which of my teammates to follow so I got involved in a meeting with *drumroll* the CEO. After that meeting, I was tasked to produce a line that'll blow everyone's mind. I couldn't figure out the whole brainstorming dynamic so I was just silent for most of the time. To make things worse, the one I'm supposed to replace was still there, so I just couldn't shrug off the feeling of being second-rate.

I logged overtime those first 3 days, and everything was just a blur. The learning curve is very, very steep, and there are so many new things to grasp--made even harder by the fact that people seem to forget that I'm a rookie with no industry experience. I've gotten involved in 5 different accounts in 3 days, including one with a crossover between different teams. Needless to say, there's a lot of pressure on my part, pressure that's put on me both by the situations and also by myself.

But then... ginusto ko to, eh. I've got to hang in there. There's too much at stake. I also don't want to disappoint my best friend who's working there, and I don't want to mess up knowing that people know where I'm from. I can't let it be said that this guy from the University of the Philippines' creative writing program can't crack the rotation.

Most of all, I have to make it for my own sake. I've tried to live my whole life without doing anything half-assed, and I most certainly won't start now.

Fuck the rookie wall!

ETA: On my sixth day, I decided to call it quits. A case of too much, too soon? Schedule getting me down? Utter lack of feeling that I belong? It's a mix of all those, and in the end, I had to make a decision. It was a hard decision, considering the pay and the opportunity, but there are simply some sacrifices that I'm not willing to make. A couple months later, I don't regret a thing.